Just the Tip

It's been a while...

sorry about that. Among other things, I was busy graduating, so not a lot of time to do blogging or sewing (though since I've graduated, I've made A LOT of random stuff) I suppose this means I have to change all my profile blurbs from student to recent grad or something. Cue panicking and fuck shit fuck...

But enough about that.

As a few of you know, here on the Stitchin' Bitch, we aren't too fancy and aren't very great with all this "draping" shit so I use store bought patterns and then fit them and alter them either on my own or with gratuitous amounts of help from fairy-god-siblings. It doesn't take  *too* much to figure out how to adapt patterns to fit to something that isn't quite what the original designer had in mind. It's pretty much as easy as taking the sleeve from a jacket pattern and sticking it onto a bodice pattern to make a less "fairytale" looking arm covering. Anyway, the problem is that a lot of those shitty store-bought patterns you get from Joanne's (Joanne? Joanns? Joann? Someone let me know how you're actually supposed to pronounce it because while the website says "Joann" I've seen stores with an apostrophe) come on this shitty flimsy-ass paper that is harder to fold back up and stick into the envelope than it is to make the $20 swallowing swords or juggling balls or just straight-up turning tricks(heh, innuendo) to buy a whole damn new pattern if you ever decide you want to pull that pattern out again or salvage it for parts. On top of that, I find that when I'm trying to even use the pattern, if I don't complete my task in under 2-3 hours, the thing gets crinkled and fucked up and tears apart and AUUUGUHHHHHHHH.

Sorry, what was I saying?

Oh yeah.

So using an additional like, $0.50 of materials, I came up with a way to make your patterns less flimsy so that you can maybe, fold them up individually and pull them out again later and not feel like you're handling them with the care you'd handle Clara Bow's vintage underthings (Hint: you'd handle them delicately because they're like 100 years old and probably quite lacy.)

The Stitchin' Bitch Solution to Firming Up Those Shitty-Ass Pattern Pieces You Get From the Store

For this project you will need: 

• Your shitty-ass pattern
• Scissors. The ones you use for paper, NOT YOUR FABRIC SCISSORS, IDIOT, YOU'LL FUCK THEM UP AND REGRET IT LATER.
• Butcher paper or other heavy large paper (they sell this by the yard at most craft stores. I chose black because I own a surplus of gel pens that write nicely on black. Also it's slimming.
• Spray mount. Look for the "workable" kind or "repositionable" because if you fuck up with placement, you might be able to peel it up and re-stick it.

Tea is optional but damn tasty

Step 1:

Cut out your original pattern pieces as you usually would. It's okay to swear here, this flimsy stuff sucks. I also forgot to get a picture of this step.

Step 2:

Lay out your pattern pieces and roughly estimate the amount of paper you'll need to back your patterns. 

Step 3:

Spray a pattern-piece-size space of spray-mount onto your paper. This stuff will 1. get everywhere or 2. works best with just the slightest amount so I suggest choosing the "get everywhere" option and keeping wet-wipes around. If you spray too close, the glue will pool up and seep through the pattern and be sticky and make a mess and also, your pattern piece won't lie evenly. The right amount will feel like a very sticky post-it.

Step 4:

Carefully apply the pattern (using two hands, I only used one because I was taking the picture here.) it's easiest to start from one side or start from the very center and smooth it out from there to ensure the least amount of wrinkles.

Step 5:

Once your pattern pieces are all smoothed out onto the butcher paper, cut the pieces out again. Please use scissors you don't like, just incase some sticky gets on them and never comes off.

Step 6:

Bask in your new pile of durable pattern pieces. You're awesome. Did you know that? Just. Fucking. Awesome.

Seriously, compare that shitty crumpled mess with your nice new, durable pieces and pat yourself on the back. Or better yet, make yourself a drink. Now you can re-use this shit over and over again, no worries!

Next time: more lies about what I'm going to post on here next time. I'm actually afraid to post what I'm going to put here anymore because it basically PROMISES that the mentioned project will never get done. Like, I still have a 2 year old faire gown I haven't posted yet. YES IT'S THAT BAD.